LET'S HANG OUT IN THIRD PLACES
Looking for warmth and human connection this winter? Head to a third place.
By Valerie Howes | Illustrations by Kate Traynor
On your daily walk at the local park, you chat with other dog owners and catch up on neighbourhood news. You joke around with fellow crafters while knitting socks at the coffee shop stitching circle. At the local library’s games night, you’re guaranteed a great evening of backgammon and banter, no matter who shows up on the other side of the table.
What do these experiences have in common? They all occur in third places, sometimes called third spaces — shared venues that offer a sense of belonging, connection and community. And while many are concerned about the loss of third places in their communities, there are still vibrant, active examples across the province, if you know where to look.
WHAT IS A THIRD PLACE?
If home is our first place and work or school our second place, third places are informal spaces where we can go to relax, socialize with friends and acquaintances and meet new people. Sociologist Ray Oldenburg, who coined the term in the 1980s, defined third places as accessible physical settings that encourage conversation, conviviality and community.
WHY THIRD PLACES MATTER
Today many of us work from home, communicate through social media, and use the technology at our fingertips to bank, shop and entertain ourselves, all without interacting face to face with other humans. While online life is convenient, it can also be isolating.
Remarkably, research shows that in-person social connection is associated with better mental health, lower cardiovascular risk, even protection against cognitive decline. Debbie Laliberte Rudman, a University of Western Ontario professor who researches third places, says that those spaces can help counteract loneliness. And in winter, when cold weather can drive us indoors, third places serve as spots to congregate, warm up and enjoy the company of others.
Third places aren’t just good for individual health. They also act as a kind of social glue that helps keep diverse communities connected, caring and thriving.
“There’s a lot of divisiveness in society — this feeling of, ‘Who really belongs here?’ and ‘Who doesn’t belong here?’” says Laliberte Rudman. “Third places are really important for social cohesion.”
THIRD PLACES AREN'T JUST GOOD FOR INDIVIDUAL HEALTH. THEY ALSO ACT AS A KIND OF SOCIAL GLUE THAT HELPS KEEP DIVERSE COMMUNITIES CONNECTED, CARING AND THRIVING.
HOW TO FIND A THIRD PLACE
If you want to find a third place in your community, start by asking yourself what you’re looking for. Do you want to meet people who share your hobbies, have kids the same age or care about the same issues as you? Or are you interested in meeting people of different generations or cultural backgrounds in your neighbourhood? It’s okay if you need to look around a little before you find a third place that feels right, Laliberte Rudman says. “I’ve talked to people who went to four or five different places... before they found one that felt like [their] third place.” The magic combo: an activity you enjoy, an open door and regular opportunities to meet there for easy social interactions. And if you don’t find the third place you’re looking for? Create it. Choose a time, an activity and a free, accessible space that welcomes gatherings, such as a library, a community centre or a café. Then make a flyer, group chat or social post to spread the word. All that’s left to do is show up regularly and get to know your neighbours. CAA
THRIVING IN THIRD PLACES
Looking for inspiration? There might just be a third place near you.
Niagara-on-the-Lake
On Monday evenings, the Hive at the Niagara-on-the-Lake Public Library provides a welcoming space for crochet and connection. Bring your projects to Get Hooked Crochet Club and join people of all levels to stitch and chat together. There’s no instructor, but if you end up with stitches gone awry, there will always be someone crafty willing to help.
St. Catharines
On the last Tuesday of every month, drop into the board game café Ludology for Open Boardgame Night. Register in advance, then show up to play solo or in a small group. For $10, you can enjoy unlimited pop and board games, with experienced players demonstrating new games for beginners.
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